the little things..

well today was a lot of fun.
after sunday school i went to sarah's house to hang out until youth group.
youth group was so much fun.
we played volleyball [which by the way.. i suck at, big time. haha] and ultimate frisbee, then we played some games inside. those were pretty fun too. there was this one game that there were 5 people in a group, and each person was a part of the body, there was the butt[haha], mouth, two legs, and the hands. i was the hands. it was crazy but SO much fun :) and tara's boyfriend, spencer, well he's a crazy kid, but he's way fun and extremely hillarious. haha
then after that we had a little talk about how we are one body, which went along with the game. then Ivy [the leader] was like, is anyone from a different Parrish. and i was like uhhhhhh.. im from a baptist church. i felt like an awkward duck in the middle of a bunch of swans. in other words. i felt out of place for that moment. then after wards i was like.. whatever im alright.
but now i was thinking about it and it was just like. whoa. are these people gunna hate me cause im not catholic. but their a bunch of really cool people so i highly doubt that. i just felt so weird.
i mean.. i really hope none of them hate me, that would suck since these people [even though i dont know all of them] are who i consider my friends. i mean sure.. i have other friends. but these are the best of the bunch. and one of them is even on my soccer team! :)
oh and then we had a 'pow wow' which is.. bad things that happened this week [the 'pow'] and good things that happened this week [the 'wow'] it was pretty cool. but one girl said that they found out that her grandpa only has like 7 days to live.. and she's never lost a close relative before. that got me thinking about my grandpa. i was lying in bed trying to sleep a little bit ago. when i remembered what she said. i looked at my paintings i gave grandpa and some mice [stuffed animals] that i gave him and he gave me. then i thought about how i would make him stuff for his birthday and christmas, then i thought about how he like Monet, paintings, mice, homemade stuff. i made him a scarf once hurrying up as fast as i could so i'd finish it in time before he left. i did thankfully. then i remembered how he was the classical guy.. i was listening to some classical sounding stuff. thats when i started to cry.
i hate the fact that i didnt get to see him for 3 years, and then slowed down on writing to him. im so happy i got to talk to him a few days before.. yea.
but its really hard to think about it without freakin out or getting sad.
i hate it.
i really do.

it SUCKS.