It's hard.

It is really difficult trying to be the better person when you've been knocked down so many times.
There are times where I really just want to stick it to the man because of how much torment I have gone through because of him.
I want to give him a taste of his own medicine to see if it affects him the way it affects me. Does it? Does it hurt as much as it hurts me? Do you feel walked on and helpless, because you don't think there's anything you can do to make it stop?
I doubt it. Because you won't even listen to me.

I'm so sick and tired of being walked all over.
I hold back emotions and feelings to try and keep the peace, even when it's eating me up later.
I try to keep everything as chill as possible by letting people have their way, but end up sad.
I try to give little hints that what someone does to me hurts. It hurts and I can't make it stop.
I feel hopeless because I've lost my voice.
I have lost my say in my own life because I've become so used to being used.

I wish I could find my voice. And not the voice that yells, because around some people, that's the only voice they ever hear, and I wish it wasn't that way.
I want to find my voice. The one that stands up for what I believe in. The one I know can start a movement.
I just want to find it. I just want to be heard again.

And in my own freakin family...