Take A Breather

Something is beckoning me to just leave for a little bit. I don't really know what it is, or why I feel this way, I just want to get away from here.

I had this huge idea of what my summer was going to be. It included knocking off things on my bucket list, going on adventures anywhere and everywhere, changing people's lives [not sure how, I just wanted to], and so much more.

Now, I have a job that consumes 5 out of the 7 days of the week, I am volunteering with two different ministries, as well as being involved with a couple more faith-based fellowships, I'm hanging out later than I usually do.
It's weird.

I have a real job, friends that I spend time with far into the night, a level of involvement with church-related groups that I have never reached before, and a schedule I thought only existed during the school semester.

It's not necessarily a bad thing, I think it's just kind of overwhelming at how busy life got this summer, especially when I thought I was gunna have lots of free time to waste away. I'm happy that I don't. Have lots of free time to waste, that is. I would much rather use my time usefully and wisely.
However... It's a little insane with my job. It's really exhausting and, at times, kind of frustrating.
I keep trying to remind myself that I am beyond blessed to even have a job, let alone one that I have lots of hours [therefore, lots of money], but I keep letting my flesh get the best of me. I want more time for myself, rather than to spend it watching kids. I want to be at the beach, instead of being inside picking up toys. I want, I want, I want...it's no good.
I keep wanting more, failing to realize that I should be appreciating what I have, because, really...I don't deserve any of it.
I need to start taking note of the small things in life, like the rain not completely soaking me, or the fact that my car windows go up when it's starting to pour, or that I have enough money to get something to eat, or that I get to spend some quality time with my brother at the beach, or that I get to see NeedToBreathe again...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean.. seriously. We take what we have for granted all the time. It's about time we stop doing that. We waste too much time wanting things that will only satisfy us for a little while, rather than appreciating what we have and glorifying the One who gave it to us.

I realized that this summer was something I made it out to be, but when it didn't turn out as planned, I was slightly disappointed. I kept counting on things to happen or work out, but when they didn't I would get frustrated. That's so stupid. I kept letting my happiness depend on whether things worked out or not. When they didn't...well there went my happiness. What kind of crap is that?! I mean... I eventually worked my way back to being positive in any situation, but I shouldn't have gotten to that point if my focus was where it should have been all along: on Christ.
He has given me everything I have, and I deserve absolutely none of it. Dang.

I've been trying to write down at least ten things I'm thankful for each day. It started out a little rough; I would forget, or I would just be reluctant to think of things I was thankful for. The list has now doubled, and sometimes I go crazy writing so many things down. Sometimes I repeat myself, but it doesn't matter, because what matters is that I'm thankful for what I don't deserve.

Here's what I'm thankful for:

• I get to see NeedToBreathe again...AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• I am going to see NeedToBreathe TWICE. Not just once more. I'm freakin peeing my pants. Ok.. not really. But I'm really stinkin happy right now. 
• Switchfoot and Relient K are, yet again, playing at Rock The Universe the same night. HECK FREAKIN YES.
• I get to go on another beach retreat at the end of the month.
• I live close enough to the beach.
• I am going on a surfing mission trip up the coast in August. I am so stoked...!!!!!
• I am breathing right now. I may have a slight cold [it doesn't seem like it will ever go away, but it hasn't killed me yet].
• My car works.
• It's been raining. I love rainy days. Like a lot.
• Sarah Dessen and her brilliant writing mind. 
• I have a job. Period.
• My dad's work ethic has rubbed off on me.
• School starts back up next month. Yea, I'm thankful for that. 
• ^ That means back to school shopping!!!!! YAYAYAY! 
• My Starbucks cup.
• The waves.
• Surfing. 
• Skateboarding.
• Having grown up in a skate shop.
• Having been homeschooled.
• Rip Curl's tweets.
• My friends and the fact that they support me with everything. It's insane. 
• My family and their ridiculousness. I love it. I love being a part of my family. We've got each other's backs like nothing else.
• The fact that I am saved through His grace. Something I am so undeserving of. Insane.
• My Shaun White sheets.
• My Dakine backpack.
• Sleep.
• NeedToBreathe, Switchfoot, Steve Moakler, Mat Kearney, Parachute, etc. Music in general, but specifically those guys. 

I could go on. I mean.. look around you..there is SO much to be thankful for. We've just got to open up our eyes to see it.