Lost in a silent ballet

I cannot even being to describe how much clearly I see life now.
The funny thing is..it started with a book.
I don't know if everyone who reads this knows who Dean Koontz is, but he is an incredible author of suspense novels.
I never thought that I would direct my reading away from teen novels like "The Truth About Forever" or any others by Sarah Dessen. I thought that was the only type of books my head and heart could handle.
Little did I know that after a conversation with my friend, I would get hooked in reading Dean Koontz novels.
I am not at all displeased.
His books are incredible.
The one I am reading right now is called "Watchers". Summary of it would be that two experimental creatures escaped from a lab. While one is friendly and harmless, the other is wreaking havoc among the people of California. INSANE book. I'm not yet finished, but I recommend you all to take a gander at it.
Anyways, the first part of the book reveals several characters. One of which I would think I'd have that much in common with. But I did. she thought of herself as an ugly person that no one would ever find beautiful. How could they if she found herself repulsive? They would only be mocking her if they did such a thing as to 'admire' her looks. At least that's what she thought. Men, more than others, were the one's that she felt she would never have a safe relationship with. As in they were all dangerous pigs with terrible things in mind.
Now, I am not saying that I believe everything she did, but for the longest time I felt that no guy would ever talk to me because I wasn't pretty enough. In fact after getting teased for so long about how blonde my hair was and how white my skin is, I made up some stupid theory in my head that no 'attractive' guy would ever talk to me. Welll... thankfully I was proved wrong.
I told a really good friend all that [not the part about the guy theory, though.] and he told me it was sad that I got used to being made fun of, because I also told him that I was shocked the first time I was complimented on my hair. I realized it was sad. But then, I swear, right after that I started noticing all these compliments I was receiving, all these guys that weren't bad looking at all, talking to me.
I don't know why it took me so long to see that I wasn't a repulsive person. But I'm glad I met someone who helped me see that.

That's really all that's been going on lately.
Well..plus more.
But I'll elaborate on that later.

Bye!