Take Back The Time Your Fear Has Stolen

Wow.
Where do I begin?

Uh.. school has been insane for me lately. Like to the point where I want nothing to do with it. It's not that I don't like school, I just really don't like the stress that usually comes with it.
Finals start next week and a few days ago I was good and ready. Now, on the other hand, I am slightly freaked.
I thought I did rock solid on my last micro exam, but I got it back on Wednesday and was less than pleased when I saw a low B.. I know that's not a bad grade, but I felt so confident that I aced it. It irritates me because I knew the material and the teacher, it seemed, went back on what he said. It didn't make sense. There was this one question that drove me up a wall, and I knew I understood it completely, but maybe it was a trick question? I guess not, but I was so frustrated I was tearing through the pages of the book clarifying the knowledge I had of the topic was, indeed, correct. I guess a girl in my class noticed me doing that and came over to my seat at the end of class. She was voluntarily patient as she explained that she was just as confused and realized what they were asking in the most absurd way possible. She was on the same page as me and she chose to explain the crapload of a mess my teacher put on paper. She basically saved me from having a meltdown.
What sucked was that right after class I had to go to Orlando to take a macro exam. Not exactly the first thing I would want to do after having to deal with the previous events...
Let's just say I didn't do too hot on that one either.. It didn't annihilate my grade though, thank God, but it still sent me into panic mode.
You see...I have to get all A's and B's otherwise my bank account goes down the drain. Basically, those two tests made me go into panic mode because I wasn't so sure if I was going to get all A's and B's this semester. That's not exactly a good thing.
Anyway, I got to the point where I really couldn't take much of it anymore. I tried to focus on things that weren't related to school, but my mind kept coming back to my grades. Thankfully there is this brilliant invention called music
.
It's really kind of ironic.. The one band that never fails to give me the strength to push on, the one band that helps me breathe easy, is NEEDTOBREATHE. I mean.. do you need to breathe? Well then listen to NEEDTOBREATHE! It's punny..
Seriously though... I really can't explain what their music does for me, other than what I already said. It's just...whenever I listen to their music there is always a message, always something that I can relate to. It's just kind of funny how insane I can get, and how out of control my thoughts will be, one song of theirs can help me come back to reality and help me grasp some of my sanity again.
I know this makes me sound like a wackjob, but I swear... it's the truth.

Yesterday I was picking my sister up from school, trying to take the day one minute at a time. I have a problem with that, the taking life as it comes and not trying to jump too far ahead.
So yea, I was trying to just chill out and think about what was going on right then. Of course I had my music playing, I mean.. when am I not?
So...yes.. I was listening to music. I had NEEDTOBREATHE playing because, like I already said, they just have this power to help me breathe easier.
I was kind of just sitting there when it started, not paying attention too much to the music, just cause I was kind of wrapped up in my thoughts. My first thought was, "Yes! I love this song!" Then I realized just what song it was and how that song had impacted me before. The next song was on queue, too, when it came to just what I needed at that moment. As was the next one. Definitely the next one. In fact, the third song was a song that saved me from a horrible mess of a breakdown before one of my finals last semester. It was insane how perfect of timing it was last semester, and then again this semester. It's been dubbed one of the best songs for finals week. Well.. you know, by me.
Those songs really put into perspective what I was dealing with and how I was dealing with it. You see... I was trying to take on the big burden of finals all by myself. I felt kind of alone in the matter, like I was the only one that could help myself with finals. I failed to realize who was standing beside me the entire time, just waiting to be asked for help. Sorry, God.

I think what I'm trying to get at, is that we aren't in it alone. We never were, and we never will be. We get so wrapped up in what's going on in life, that we lose perspective of just how small those problems really are. I mean.. when you've got God on your side to help take care of things. To us, those problems seem so big and so overwhelming. But to God, they're pathetically small.
I feel like we forget that God can help us out. We try to take care of things by ourselves, always, because, either, we're too proud to ask for help, or we're too distracted to see He's waiting to help us.
Just read this:

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 34:4

Dang. I wish I would think like that more often. When you look at it in the daylight, we are always trying to do things on our own, especially when it comes to challenging tasks, because we are too full of pride to show our weakness. Well, news flash, God already sees all your weaknesses and He still wants to help you out. Not only that, He isn't going to degrade you and make you feel like dirt. He just really loves you.

Anyway.....what I was trying to get at before is that those songs help me see that. They help me get back that perspective I tend to lose in times of ridiculous stress. They help me see what matters, why I should keep going, and why it's not a bad thing that I need someone greater than I to help me out.

NEEDTOBREATHE, thank you. Seriously. You guys' music has done wonders for me and it's a daily thing. I can't really explain how grateful I am, but I am. I really am.
Thank you.

As for the rest of you... go listen to them.

By the way, these are the songs that came on that kind of kick my mind back into gear.

• "Lay 'Em Down"
• "Keep Your Eyes Open"
• "Over Now"

There are a lot more that have just as big of an impact as those, but I'll give you those later just to keep you listening ;)