Step of Faith

It is absolutely insane to think about what happened two weeks ago...

• I talked to my pastor about getting baptized. 
• I ended up talking about my walk of faith and where I am now.
• He ended up making it really hard to ignore the call to compassion I have felt for years.
• He told me about this organization that may have already changed my life in some ways. 
• I may be doing something crazy for me, but I'm totally alright with that. 

I don't even know what to think. My head has been spinning for two weeks now. 

Everything that has happened in the past seven months has happened for a reason. I may not have known the reason at the time, but, slowly, it is becoming more and more apparent to me. 

The people I met, the conversations I had, the experiences I went through...they were all for a reason. Maybe I still don't know the reason just yet, but I think I'm starting to figure it out. 

Ever since eighth grade, I've had this pull towards mission work. After eighth grade, it kind of faded out, but it was still there. Occasionally I'd get a pamphlet for mission trips, I'd definitely feel a strong interest in them, but I'd let the feeling pass. In eleventh grade, I got really interested in different causes and organizations [like Mocha Club, TWLOHA, Seer Outfitters, TOMS, etc.] The last part of my senior year in high school I decided I wanted to teach Sunday School and be a leader at a youth group. I loved the position and responsibilities I had, but the timing was off. 

One thing I've realized through all that, is that I have been pulled towards mission work over the years, but I've either been ignoring it, or tailoring it to fit my lifestyle. Both are a problem. 

However, I've come to realize, over the past half a year or so, that I am, yet again, being pulled towards missions. This time, though, I'm not going to ignore it and I'm not going to modify it so I can remain comfortable. 

Like I said before, I don't even know what to think. So much is going through my head right now; decisions I have to make and the faith I have to firmly have in God. 

It freaks me out. It really does. 

Thinking about my future and what could happen, or not happen, if I choose to make this huge step in life gets me a little jittery. But it's ok. That's where the whole faith thing comes in. 

If it were so easy to make these decisions we wouldn't need faith in the first place. However, when being called to missions, you are required to have a lot of faith, especially when you don't want to make the decisions you know you have to. 

Thankfully, through all of this, I have a few certain people I have been able to talk to about this and they are helping me make the decision myself to really pray for discernment and guidance as I walk down this road of faith. It's nice to know I'm not walking it alone. It's really nice to know that I don't have to worry about it too, although that, too, takes a lot of faith. 

Oh boy. 

God has something crazy cooking up for my life.