Into the Night

ayyy. im bored.

my birthday is in 14 days & 29 minutes. =D
it'll be my 16th this time.
im planning on having a party. i just have to figure out when its gunna be, and im pretty much set. then i have to invite the people.

i still dont feel like my "friends" are my friends.
they sure dont act like it, unless i make it known that i feel left out.
i dont think its fair for me to remind them everytime this happens.
thankfully i have other friends.
but unfortunately these friendships meant a lot to me, and seeing them fall apart really doesnt make me feel better.

i dont really know what to do for my birthday and that.
i mean i know i should invite them, but something tells me, they wouldnt care less about it.
please tell me im wrong.
right now i dont have anyone to tell anything thats going on in my life to.
im slowly getting closer to other people, and im glad too.
because not only are they nice, but so is their family, and their families have done stuff for me already, even though i met them last year, and didnt really know their family.

soccer really helps me out.
but then when i do soccer stuff, it gets me depressed again.
kind of because theres people there that dont treat me like i deserve anything. and the fact that im a freaking chicken.
i cant stand how i cant just say HI.

its so stupid how i am.
it really is.

i really really wanna have a good party for my 16th.

dear god,
please dont let stupid drama ruin it for me.
amen.


oh. and my friend may just be bringing the best present ever to my party. i'll just have to hope.
=D