We Are Down, But We Can Choose

I know it's been a while since I last wrote, and for that, I apologize.
Life has gotten pretty crazy lately and I haven't really had any time to sit down and contemplate everything that's been going on.
What has been going on?
Huh.. I guess that's why I'm writing; to figure all this out.

Things have gotten kind of insane for me recently.
It finally set in that school is in session and I should probably realize that sooner than later.
School's a weird thing though. I've been going, applying myself to my homework and studying and whatever, but not as much as I should. Don't get me wrong, I'm not failing. I'm doing pretty well, actually, but I just haven't felt like I'm in school. I go to school and get my assignments done and whatever, but I guess it's just that my mindset is somewhere else. Somewhere far from a class room.
It would probably be a bigger problem if I wasn't applying myself in school, because then my grades would be in the tank and my parents would not be happy.
I just feel like.. I don't know. Not that I'm not supposed to be there, because I think I am. It's in line with where I want to go in life, but I guess I just want to skip the school part and get to where I'm going now.
The thing is.. I sort of am. Not skipping school, but getting to where I want to be.

I started going to the leadership meetings for Fusion, which means I've been getting more involved and having more of a say in what we do at Fusion. It's totally awesome. In fact, I brought up the idea to have a benefit concert affiliated with an organization that helps homeless veterans, hoping that everyone else at Fusion would be on board for it, and it turned into two events, one focusing on the homeless veterans, and the other focusing on sex trafficking. It's kind of surreal. I've thought of planning a cool even that would get people's attention focused on something bigger than just ourselves, but to actually be doing it... it's crazy. I still can't believe it's happening, but I'm so glad it is.

I feel like God put me where I am now for a huge reason. I feel like the people I continue to grow closer to are people that were meant to play a huge role in my life. It's so freakin crazy.
Every time I try to make sense of everything that's happened in the past few months, I can't because something else insane happens. And it's not insane in a bad way, it's insane in a 'how could something this awesome happen to me' kind of way. I really don't deserve any of it, but I guess God just keeps dishing it out to me because He knows how much it means to me.

A week ago I went and saw my favorite band ever, NeedToBreathe.
It was by far the best concert of my life, but also a night I will never forget.
NeedToBreathe has played a huge role in my growing faith and relationship with God. Several of their songs have hit me in a really deep way that I can't shake. I don't want to either.
I listen to their music and get pumped and excited, but I also get this determination and passion that very few other musicians are able to give me.
Their music moves me to become who I was meant to be for Christ, and not myself. It helps me to keep working towards my goals and to not look back at what happened in the past. It helps me keep my eyes on what Got intended me for.
Last Monday I knew, right off the bat, that I was meant to be there.
It was a killer concert, but the experience of just being there listening to them play and hearing them speak was something else.
I ended up getting to meet them...WHICH WAS FREAKIN AWESOME!!!!! But it was really humbling too. Here they are, this band that's becoming more and more well known, and these guys...man.. I don't even know.
When Bear was talking between songs, he was talking about playing on the Leno show and stuff like that, and he was saying how before they were becoming big, a gig like that would define when they 'made it'. Then he went on to say how it really wasn't all that. I was so happy when he said that. Not many people think that way, but it was clear where these guys stand.
When I was talking to them after the concert it was just awesome. I was having a conversation with my favorite band, people that wrote some of the most powerful songs in my life. But it was so normal. They were so real and genuine. I wish I could have talked longer to them because I had a lot to say, but they did have a long ride ahead of them so they had to go.
It just got me thinking, though, I really do think I was meant for this. For creating events comprised of people and organization with a mission in mind. An event that could encourage and inspire people to move other people and change lives. An event that made a difference and let Love shine brighter than despair and hate and tribulations. An event that creates hope and shows people what exactly God can do in their lives.
It's crazy, but I want to do that. I want to so bad.

I wrote NeedToBreathe lyrics on a bunch of index cards and I plan on distributing them wherever I go.
Those simple words moved me and I'm sure they'll be able to move others as well, so I'm making it my job to let other people experience what I have and to stop going through life without really living.

We are alive, we are strong
We can't watch it go for nothing 
Watch until it's gone
We are down
But we can choose
We've got nothing else to live for
Nothing left to lose